I started to draw this fanart couple of months ago, and the left part I did then (when I was complaining about not being able to draw), today the right one. The picture below shows how totally different they looked before I partly redrew the old one! It looks like a collaboration with my couple of months older quite impatient self.
An umbrella from a day I felt like drawing an umbrella.
The idea came really long ago, the first time I heard the music, Dead V, I used in the video. So that’s where the inspiration came from.
That music made me feel calm and intense, almost scared, in the same time (like death? it’s title). I instantly saw it in front of my eyes this way, except the birds. I knew I wanted birds, I knew I wanted them to be intense, but I never could kind of grab them. I decided I won’t wait any longer for them, they will turn out somehow during the process. In the end they fade away, just like how I couldn’t catch them myself.
The title is from the thought of having something less negative than “Dead”. : D I decided words we don’t say cause our slow death little after little, words we don’t want to, we are afraid to say out loud, words we don’t dare to admit, silent whispers. And as silent and fragile they are on the surface, they kill us, they are dangerous, intense, terrible. The birds are standing for those whispers. Screaming into our ears, chocking us, tearing apart.
– A2 paper
– pencils from 6H to 8B
I didn’t count it, but it was between 20 and 30 hours somewhere. The feathers took long, but I saved up a lot of time on the hair, which is quite dark, and it didn’t require much work for the details to come out.
So my portrait drawing skills still didn’t quite came back, I have more unfinished, messed up drawings since then. About Jongin too, a pencil portrait. But since the ASC thing I really wanted to draw him, out of gratitude, out of happiness, or the love for him I don’t know, I just wanted to. The eyes were going well, but then I absolutely messed up the lips and face. I was really determined, so I erased it to zero, and started again. I tried to cut the video in a way so it won’t be that visible, but if you pay attention you might notice the lips looking totally different in the first half of the video : ))
I really hope this whatever phase of my passes sometime after all. I’m really starting to be disappointed in myself. Honestly. I really don’t understand, it absolutely only affects my fanarts. Non-fanarts I have no problem drawing, I can design, I was making packagings this week with much success and without any problems. It’s only about fanarts.
I’m glad though this drawing turned out fine. Almost gave up, but I liked the eyes way too much to leave it.
And because of ASC, really, I wanted to publish a Jongin fanart.
Ah, right, this ASC thing have been going around in other sites, but I didn’t share it on this blog. So After School Club featured four of my drawings, and Baekhyun and Jongin, who were sitting there, saw them! I have been running rounds screaming when this happened, I have been walking 10cm-s above the ground for two days. Now that I think back to it, it kind of seems unreal, like it didn’t even happened. I have to remind myself that this actually happened, they actually saw my drawings. WOAH, they did! And Jongin even praised the fanarts – like what he saw that day, in general, but since it’s general he probably meant my ones too, so Jonging himself praised my fanarts ( – did you see that line of thoughts?) and that’s whah, really happened!
Fun fact: this Jongin drawing looks totally like Kyungsoo. While drawing I had to especially concentrate to make him look different from Kyungsoo (sorry Jongin, really, it was unintentional). I draw too much Kyungsoo. Everything starts to look like honey.