I know, I know, I said I won’t draw anything until I’m finished with the graduation exam. But I finished the final exam (the one that finishes the last semester/year, and such as my studies, while the graduation is slightly different, since that’s my own project), so I decided to celebrate that with letting a little drawing for myself.
Also the events from the close-past, regarding Chanyeol. The perfect example how to make an elephant out of a fly. Gosh.
Whatever was that, since our Chanyeol is sensitive, especially about people liking and supporting him, I hoped he wouldn’t take it serious not even for a second, not even giving it a second thought.
But this made me draw his double face, the charismatic cutely-silly young guy whose actions and verbal behavior reminds me to my younger brothers so really much, I know them so well, they are just silly, but never would ever intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings. They love in their own way. They are also totally positive about the way they love being absolutely right. And they get just as hurt when faced hate or negativity as any of us. That is the other face. That is why it’s “Different”.
Also the song I found accidentally, the first time I heard it was when I was already drawing the portrait, but jeez, just how really much it suits the topic:
We and him are different people, we climb into different beds at night, we have different feelings, and his point of view are probably different than yours or mine, and thats natural, so giving our own meaning to his actions is also not the meaning he was intending to have. And he might get hurt. He might be screaming while you are going to bed without any concern.
He just really tries desperately to make us love him.
And I admit, there was a time in the past when I thought it is too much, he was putting up such an acting to earn admiration, he always took (still takes) a second before acting and decides which action will put him to the best position. And I thought he just wanted that to get more popular, he just enjoyed the fame he was getting. That’s what I thought. And I didn’t like it.
But since then I realized that he isn’t putting this up, he really is longing for love. For real love from his members, from fans, from anyone. He longs to be loved, to be cared, taken care of. He cares about his fellow members, he loves them, he loves us, not just fans, really, he loves our love towards him, and he loves us, he would do anything to not disappoint and be unloved. And that’s honest from his side. He just so really much reminds me to my brothers.
So whatever sick joke that was going on, or that elephant whether if it was only a fly, I got so protective about it. Like when I was a kid and protecting my brothers when they were attacked by a little older ugly aggressive guy when we were playing on the playground, I had beaten the hell out of that kid, his mother was running after me through couple of blocks to catch and scold me for giving blue and purple marks to his useless kid.
I dare you to.
So, long story short, just love him. He is one of those few people on this world, who actually cares about your feelings. Don’t make him loose that care and close up.