Queenstown clouds


Rather impressive clouds I saw at the lake in Queenstown. I was staring at the scene for a long time before I realized I have a camera and I can take a photo of it. Took these photos and a video (which I have used in my last process film, in the beginning), then went back to staring. I couldn’t figure out how the light should fall onto the clouds to create shadows and tones like this. As if the middle of the cloud is glowing, and the edges and the curves are dark, make a pattern from this, and now figure out where is the light. They moved fast too. It was so interesting, and so beautiful.




In my dreams you are a part of me.

Under my skin you are a part of me.

“In my dreams, you are a part of me.
Under my skin, I gave you all of me.” /Crywolf – Ribcage

Process Film:

I wanted to draw the snowflakes on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, when I sat down and drew the first strokes that was still my main intention. Only his shoulder, and everything else kind of fading. Then I drew his lips too. Because I always draw his lips. And then I really wanted to draw his eyes. And when I had the fading face I decided adding snowflakes to the shoulder would be too much. On the other hand I liked his face in this fading form so much, that I found myself drawing all of them.
I decided I’m only going to use the Sing for You photos.
Also, while drawing Crywolf’s song, the Ribcage, came on my playlist, and the part where he says “.. you are a part of me. Under my skin …”. And I knew this is going to be the concept. Which is why I named them from Part One to Nine. Because after all this time it’s official that they are a part of me. And the fans. Creeping into our life and existence. Into our dreams (I do dream often with them, so the quote is literally true). Are they part of you too?

On the print the small line on the top says: “I think I wanted you to come down – I think I wanted you to ease my pain – I swear I’m trying to forget you – But you keep running circles through my brain.” Also a part from the Ribcage lyrics. I’m glad that Crywolf let me use his lyrics, so it’s totally clean and nice. : )

Part One – Kyungsoo.

Part One - Kyungsoo.

Part Two – Baekhyun.

Part Two - Baekhyun.

Part Three – Jongin.

Part Three - Jongin.

Part Four – Chanyeol.

Part Four - Chanyeol.

Part Five – Yixing.

Part Five - Yixing.

Part Six – Chen.

Part Six - Jongdae.

Part Seven – Sehun.

Part Seven - Sehun

Part Eight – Xiumin.

Part Eight - Xiumin

And our precious leader:
Part Nine – Suho.

Part Nine - Suho


Under my skin you are a part of me.

I drew these on Canson Cartridge paper, and used my Faber-Castell pencils from 6H to 6B.


Under my skin you are a part of me WIP

video thumb:

Under my skin you are a part of me. - Video Preview

2015 – 2016

File 2015. 12. 31. 21 43 15

20122013, 2014


This year was an internet-social lay back from my side, I feel that.
Hence I can’t really share much statistics because I have no idea about them. Also, I feel I didn’t draw that much this year. Not that I actually have been drawing much in other years, but probably more than I did this year. Which faces me the most times, when I share something on the internet, and receive comments of “you are back!”, while I think I was always here..
Anyway, that will change next year! No, really.

A little less official statistics, because I can’t really count them altogether now, from all the different platforms, but a little something:
My most liked Instagram post popped onto the first place just couple of days ago, one of my most recent EXO drawings: Part Three – Jongin, with 1,200 likes as of today.
Part Three - Jongin.

Somewhere along the year I reached 10 000 followers on Youtube. According to Youtube my most watched video this year was Peach Blossom (Chanyeol), but I honestly fell back in Youtube productivity this year, I shared only couple of vids, so I’m disappointed with myself.
Interesting fact: the composer whose music I used in that video – I met him not long ago, he is also in NZ, and we started to talk earlier because of my video. It was lovely, he is lovely, and I’m happy he liked my drawing and felt his music is going well with the drawing. : )

My most shared on Twitter was the following, with 1.8K retweets:Untitled

Picking out one from the purchases is difficult, because this year there was a big diversity, there is no clear winner here. I picked the 4 most popular ones, they were really head to head: Breath In iPhone Case, Lullaby Art Print, Sillage Art Print, and Allegretto DKS Tote Bag.


I had two plans for 2015. One to grow out my bangs, on which I succeeded, as the attached selfie shows on the top, I even had to cut it back once already. I’m happy, but I really – really really – miss my bangs. I will cut them back one day, I’m sure about that. But for now I will still try to live with my forehead shining over everyone.
The other plan – to make more projects absolutely failed. I didn’t even start. That’s so pathetic. I got carried away in work and my diploma work, and it was way too open “a project every month”, I need more exact plan to actually do something. And a prize at the end.

However, this year was better than the previous one. I got quite some lucky turns, pure luck, unexpected things helping me. My diploma project was successful, I received my diploma finally, and after 19 years of studies, let’s add kindergarten too, so overall 22 years of waking up early, socialize, work and prove, and not getting paid for it at all – it ended this year. Done. And I’m officially an owner of a BA of Applied Arts in Graphic Design and Visual Communication. Yess.

After that I packed up and left Europe, flying across the world, to the exactly opposite side, to New Zealand. Froze to the bones, worked in film productions, and … still unemployed. I got through to quite some interviews, but the moment they heard I need to apply for a working visa all the doors are getting shut in front of me. Directly, they don’t even deny it, asking “Do you have a visa?” “Oh, I just need a job offer for that, it’s not a complicated process.” “Oh my god, good that I asked, no, we are not doing those kind of things. Thank you for your time, there is no need to come again.” — I’m not joking, this is exactly what I got in different version, people saying directly to me that I’m more qualified and experienced, have more skills and those skills are on higher level than the other applicants (I’m honestly not making this up, they told this to me, out loud, these words) YET all I get are no-s, because of the visa. So yes, I’m kind of frustrated, and really unemployed. But I hope for the best. I got my visa extended, I’m still here. Christmas was the hardest time, I honestly was inches away from changing my ticket, sit on a plane, and go back to Europe, the hell am I looking for here, obviously no one wants me to be here. But got myself together. Even my great grandma appeared in my dreams yesterday saying to me that “I know it’s hard, but keep it up, you have to be in New Zealand, you have to stay there.” Yes, okay, this was quite shocking for me too from a long dead old lady. But I guess I should listen to her. And hope to reach everything I wanted to in a short period of time.

My favorite artist to listen to was Oh Wonder, that one I know for sure, I listened to them really a lot this year. If you haven’t heard them yet, you should check them out, really nice. I liked their intro project too – they were sharing a new song on the first day of every month and after a year they published the whole album, I was waiting for every month’s first day to hear the new song!
My favorite is .. all of them, but I really like Heart Hope. I have been listening to it a lot, I guess we all need a little heart hope, easy to relate.

Favourite .. nail polish? I loved MaxFactor’s Prussian Blue a lot. If you google it then it looks more like OPI’s Amazon..Amazoff on the pictures, but I have both, and I don’t like the OPI version, while the MaxFactor color looks amazing. I didn’t bring it here with myself (because I came to spring and summer, so I brought some more light and lovely colors), I still have a photo of it in my phone, but on this it looks much darker than it actually is. So imagine a middle way. It’s really nice though, quite dark but not black, it has a hint of the dark north sea, greenish but still blue . Yes, probably my favorite of 2015.

File 2015. 12. 31. 15 32 13

I didn’t have a favorite game App this year, nothing could top last year’s Monument Valley. But the most used App for me was Sleep Cycle!
I was quite sceptic about this app before I actually started to use. I have been using it every night, overall 333 nights, and I will continue to use it. File 2015. 12. 31. 16 34 41Ever since I have been waking up with this app mornings are much easier and better for me, like not even comparable to the previous alarms. I’m the kind of person who pretty much freaks out from an alarm, I wake up to even a buzz, I don’t even need the sound, vibration is enough, I can feel my phone moving next to my head, and I don’t just wake up, I freak out. Every – single – morning. I’m also super prone to headaches, I get a headache from everything, even from freaking out, so one thing I’m really happy for, is that thanks to Sleep Cycle I have my headache days and painkiller consumption reduced by minimum 70%. And waking up without a smaller hea
rt attack makes my day so much better too. Also, thanks to the App, I can see the patterns in my sleep, and what affects it, so I can improve my sleep more. Overall now I know that I go to sleep usually at 0.30am, and sleep average 9 hours (yes, I need that sleep or I’m totally useless), sleep the worst on Sunday and Monday, sleep bad if it’s a sunny day, and definitely shouldn’t watch TV series before sleeping, instead I should move to reading a book before sleeping, because that improves my sleep by 9% (which to be honest isn’t much). And I sleep much worse in New Zealand. In Europe I had usually 85-95% nights, 100% even. Here I’m happy if it reaches 65%, and managed to gather some really bad 10-20% nights too.

I didn’t really watch dramas this year, I did watch some TV Series, catching up with most, like Suits, Girls. And Criminal Minds. I like crime series, but this year Criminal Minds is really standing out from the others for me. I think I like crime series because the bad gets caught, the process of hunting down a rotten person who damages other people, and catching them in the end – I wish I could fight the devil too, and protect the good and peace.

Okay, let’s move to 2016.


My plan for 2016 to actually have things to share on my end-year post.

And I have a project, again, but this time I made a detailed plan, and my prize at the end is a nail polish. Which was the only thing I could think up, I’m addicted to nail polishes, I know, and I usually buy them just because I have a bad mood, or for no actual reason. I have almost a hundred of them at home. I didn’t bring them here, though I have been buying them here already (I’m almost 100% sure the OPI has different ingredients here, I don’t like OPI, but here it’s especially awful!). Anyway, this was the only thing I could think up to get if I accomplish the parts of the project, which isn’t nice, because I buy these for no reason, and now I don’t get to buy them, until I finish the project, which is more like a punishment instead of prize.

Project: 100 illustrations.
It’s a 12 month project. Illustrations.
I want to draw more, and I want to draw more nonfanart. So these months will not be fanarts (or at least not the way you would expect from me).
Each month is a topic, and I have to draw minimum 8 drawings per month on that topic (2 / week), and plus 4 somewhere : D
There still might be changes later to this list, but currently these are the 12 topics I’m going to draw:

January: Characters (non kpop fanarts)
February: Things I like
March: Quotes
April: Legends
May: Colors
June: Places
July: Garden
August: Fairytales
September: ?
October: Tarot Cards
November: ?
December: Christmas

Starting from January, but first I will finish the short series I started with EXO.

Talking about EXO. I have an EXO series coming up in 2016.
No, not this fading one. I already have it forming in my head. I was thinking about drawing it in colors, but actually black and white fits the topic more. I’m a little worried about it, it’s a creepy series, but not in a too creepy way, because I wouldn’t want to see them suffering too much either (I really don’t like beaten up fanarts, or fanarts with blood, violent, I don’t really understand what kind of “fanart” is that…  no, it’s not that kind), so it’s more on the surreal side, but with most of my ideas I’m like “no, that’s too much, let’s take couple of steps back”. This is why it’s still under development. But it’s coming! I don’t have a prize at the end of this, so I’m trying to push myself to actually do it, I will do my best with it, I promise.


So in 2016 my pencils will be my best friends. And YouTube and Etsy. And Instagram.
I hope the Monkey will be favorable for us all. I wish all the best for everyone this year, get a little crazy in 2016, in a good way, monkeys are like that. And don’t forget to wear something red today. I know the monkey comes a little later, but an early good impression doesn’t hurt. Happy New Year!

Christmas with Prismacolors


I hope everyone is having a merry little christmas with family, Love Actually, and with lots of delicious food. Merry Christmas!


Earlier, as an early present, I received the Prismacolor Premier 132 set. I started to learn to use them, it takes a little practice. But I like them quite much, and overwhelmed by the choice of colors I suddenly have and may use.
On the downside I’m really struggling with taking photos of my Prismacolor drawings. Drawings always come out different when I take photos of them, but I already know how to correct them back to their original form. With the watercolor pencils I used before – I used to pretty much recolor the drawing digitally (while keeping the texture.. it’s a little tricky). Which is what I tried to do at first with these too. But it turned out totally different and much worse because of all the soft differences it has in reality and lost when recolored. Which is why I’m taking photos of these Prismacolor drawings surrounded by items, giving reference colors and values for the eye. So compared to them my drawing on the photos look pretty much the way they are in reality. This makes me a little disappointed, because when the drawing is in front of me it looks really awesome with all those colors, I’m proud of them too, and then I take a photo of it, import, and I feel awful. I was an inch away from not sharing any of these drawings, because each of them looked bad on my photo, before I took the photos with their surroundings or “as a photo” instead of “the drawing”.
This is something I still have to figure out how to do.
I really love the pencils though, they are beautiful, the colors are beautiful, I love how they layer.


This is my first Christmas in summer. I did have warm and tropic Christmases before, but this is the first in official summer. And alone. That’s also first time.
I’m the kind of person who has festive mood starting from November. : D I enjoy the entire season, the Christmas feel everywhere, exited about the decorations.
This year I also started to have festive mood in November, but in New Zealand nothing feels festive, so it faded. Until Zoella on Youtube started to make her daily Christmas vids, I was watching them while having my breakfast, and she brought my festive mood back. But when I stopped having internet it disappeared again. Honestly, it’s summer, warm, everyone is running around screaming, it’s noisy, people are selling strawberries and cherries on the street, I look out and see palms, big butterflies resting on the big leaves sunbathing, birds everywhere. Zero Christmas feel.
This is why I drew these drawings. The ice cream with fruits – with candy cane and pine decoration. The girl is having candy cane in her hair, glowing – but there is not much real christmasy about her.
I wish I could have made a whole series about elements like this, like how christmasy with being not christmasy at all.



Auckland – Beach Haven


I have finally moved in to the new apartment with my flatmate, in Auckland, Beach Haven. I fell for it because of the view. My room has the same view, this is where I’m drawing these days. The room is quite small so the table choices were limited, this was the biggest I could fit in. Which isn’t ideal, but enough.
I like how nature is the only thing I see when I look up. It’s summer. Palms, big butterflies sunbathing on them, birds, parrots. Lovely. Not festive at all, but lovely. : )


I don’t like the carpet, but carpet seems to be something important in New Zealand, every house I have seen has carpet. Carpet is the least hygienic floor you can choose, and in such a humid country even —…  you can imagine what’s happening in there. I don’t know whose idea was this. It’s a really bad idea. Anyway, ours one is brand new, and I’m cleaning it in every 2-3 days, vacuum, and soap. It’s a hell lot of work, great exercise, but required. The fact that you don’t see the dirt doesn’t mean it’s not there, I really don’t like carpets. I also don’t like how it touches my feet. But that’s my personal thing: I have a sensitive relationship with textiles. There is only very few I can touch without feeling cold shiver running through my spine. That’s probably because I have an extremely dry skin.


And this is an apartment, I miss the garden. I grew up in an apartment, but my family moved to a village 7 years ago, and first I remember I really didn’t like it – too dark and too silent. But I got so used to it when I was living at home. Now I really need that dead silence to fall asleep. Nature sounds to feel okay. Grass touching my feet. Have tea in the garden, breakfast in the sun outside. And the garden I can take care of once in a while. Most of the things I do are inside – designing, drawing. It does grow on me. So I used to go out in the garden those times, do a little gardening, cut some plants, pull out the unwanted ones – little things that turns your head off and keeps you busy. And my dog would be sitting or laying near, “protecting”.
I’m starting to miss it. I bought two plants I used to have at home too: wild mint and basil. I used to drink the mint, soak as a tea. Wild mint is like a weed, doesn’t require any care, and covers half of your garden, it’s even hard to get rid of it. So I decided it might be able to live in a pot on the balcony. I hope it can.
And basil, about which I’m slightly worried. That’s one of my favorite plant used for seasoning (coriander is the other one).



And we finally have internet. They connected it today. It took them overall a little more than 4 weeks. Yes. 2 weeks and 2 days since we moved in, but we requested to connect it almost 3 weeks before we moved in, while the apartment was under construction (painting, carpet) and empty. So I’m really unsatisfied with them. All this while of course we had to buy their mobilenet, spent a whole lot of money on that too – no wonder they didn’t rush with connecting. And when you try to call them it takes 40 minutes for them to pick it up. That happened couple of times. That’s 2degrees.






But I love the view.


EXO – Sing For You


The post brought me the EXO Christmas CD, and the official ring too. Both presents to myself from my dear self for Christmas. I took some photos of them. I like the photos in the album.. I didn’t like the first promotional photos that came out about the album, but in the end, the photos in the photobook are quite nice.
The ring is nice too, I got the size 9. I thought it will be big (my fingers are thin and boney), but it’s actually just right to my middle finger – though I would prefer it on my index finger, but it’s a little small to that. I got the matte black one. It has arrived yesterday, I was wearing since then (two showers and two pots of planting) and it already has scratches and the edges start to look metallic, the paint is getting off. From only one day. I’m slightly disappointed, but to be honest expected, matte paint is sensitive. Not in less than 24 hours though. I guess it will look really grunge in couple of weeks. But I like the design. I like how it doesn’t look too obvious, just form-design, no one knows except us, but if I see it on someone I will recognize it instantly and feel the common point, that we both are part of the same family.
I also got that weird necklace in the pack out of the blue, I had no idea what’s that. I mean if you turn it looks like an (EXO-)L, but I don’t know, I don’t really like it. Then I checked on the internet and it turns out Zitao was wearing this thing, so I guess now they are giving it away fast. This makes me like this necklace even less. It’s hanging on my desk lamp, I might put it away though, I look down on Zitao and his actions, I don’t need anything that looks like the thing he was wearing to poison my air here and bring bad luck.











Playlist: Unfold

Unfold playlist cover
It’s been over a year! .. since the last time I uploaded a playlist. Which is a shame. And which is why it’s such a long one, 44 tracks.
I had thoughts about making it on Spotify, but I couldn’t find there like half of the songs from the list .. then I thought I could make it on Soundcloud – but then there I couldn’t find the previous half of the list. So that left same old 8tracks.

These are the songs I have been listening a lot this year, they are more on the electronic-pop-femalevocal-chillstep-ish side. It pretty much describes my year. The first track is my yesterday-today’s favorite. : )
The quote on the list is also from that song:
“And weeks went by but felt like hours 
Spring would lie in summer showers 
In my hair were winter flowers”

The photo I used for the playlist cover – I took it 3 (?) weeks ago. It was an amazing foggy environment around Milford Sound, I will share them later.


Unfold – 44 tracks:

  1. Vallis Alps – Young
  2. Wafia – Heartburn
  3. Alina Baraz & Galimatias – Unfold
  4. Elliot Berger – Home (feat Notelle)
  5. Elenne – Between Us (feat Mothica)
  6. Singularity – Alone
  7. Airia – Infinity
  8. Kiiara – Gold
  9. Crywolf – Anachronism
  10. Michl – Kill Our Way To Heaven
  11. Echos & Nightcall – Rainfall
  12. Dahila Sleeps – Breathe
  13. Kina Grannis – Chandelier (Cover)
  14. Dahila Sleeps – Hessian
  15. Crywolf – Epithelial (feat Echos)
  16. Sirena – Primal
  17. Beyoncé – Crazy in Love (Remix)
  18. Gnash – I Hate U I Love U (feat Olivia O’brien)
  19. Echos – The Hills (Weeknd Cover)
  20. Skylar Grey – I Know You
  21. Lena Fayre – This World
  22. Caribou – Melody Day
  23. Niia – BTSTU (Cover)
  24. Portishead – Roads
  25. Glimpse – Until It Falls Apart
  26. Echos – Save You
  27. Glimpse – Rising Storm
  28. Nightcall – Dead V
  29. Oh Wonder – Technicolor Beat
  30. Feverkin – Sinking (feat Nori)
  31. Blackbear – IDFC
  32. Made in Heights – Viices
  33. Electus – Leaving the Lights
  34. Nightcall  – Unknown
  35. Stalgia – Rust
  36. Enkidu – Thin Plastic (feat Anke Sommer)
  37. Ekali – Another Girl (Aywy & Ekali)
  38. Made in Heights – Forgiveness
  39. Akira Kosemura – Petrarca
  40. Oh Wonder – Heart Hope
  41. Niia – Running Up That Hill
  42. Vanic x K Flay – Hypnotic
  43. Vanic x K Flay – Make Me Fade
  44. Haelos – Dust


Ps: I have preordered the EXO album, and as an additional present for myself for christmas, the official ring too, and I’m just so excited for both of them, so can’t wait till I will have them in my hands.