” I am not lost, I am not found “
• P r o c e s s F i l m •
• D e s c r i p t i o n •
Its been a while since i wrote this last time : ) … I checked back on the last time and i saw it have been exactly.. 2 months ago. exactly, it was 1st of may. i was surprised, it didnt feel that long. im sorry.
(( i shouldnt have drag this on for this long. i really cant get into the same mood now. i have also promised im going to share the peter pan fanart first. im going to be honest here .. i didnt draw a single line on it for about 2-3 weeks now. same reason: i really cant find that mood. .. if you are reading this and you think this is some weak excuse, then you are really wrong, thats the most important of all. .. couple of days ago i managed to free some space on my computer so i decided to use it for this fanart. yes, thats actually the reason why i said i will share peter pan first : D im living on about 10 gb-s for over a year now, i have no idea how im doing it with all these designs, but its really really annoying. i didnt buy a new hdd since the last time it got broken with 4 years of work on it (same time last year ^ ^’ ), and i dont really trust them now anyway. i usually have around 1.5-2gb free space, my computer often refuses to open programs already : / so i can have just one process film at once, and now its peter pan. but my brother helped me and saved some files from me, so i could have an other video. here it is : ) … but jongin wont come before peter pan : D absolutely no way. … … i should start my next series, my mood is perfect for that, couldnt be any more suitable -.- .. but i wont, i dont want to mix the series into each other. .. and whenever i think that “well, i might..” i get the reply from myself that i should be working now, thats exactly what i might. ))
so, baekhyun. i did have this concept for him for over 2 months actually. i really hoped it would change though. try to draw fog on white background. just really. i cant use dark background because that would be off concept, so i was like “pleeeaaase, dont”. was hoping to the concept to change. at least to frost. but that seemed kind of off. i still managed to stick it in. i mean the frost. that weird pattern on his neck is supposed to be frost. .. nah it failed, i know.
he is blowing the fog. i was happy to find a reference photo which actually looked like that. like not on full cheek, just a little soft blow, which doesnt distort the face.
i thought fog would really fit him. i dont know him actually. he is in exo, i see him really often, hear his voice, admire his long fingers, like his always puffy-sleepy eyes. ( i dont know why i get always the feeling like he looks like he just woke up, probably because i have those puffy eyes when i wake up.. those pale puffy eyes, not quite eyebags, really just sleepy-puffy. its cute. ) but i dont know him. he is kind of distant and .. i dont know, he is always there, not hidden – really noticed, but still not known. like fog. fog is there, you definitely notice it, but you notice it because it hides everything. of course it makes trouble because of that, but fog for me is rather beautiful. i love it. that milky haze laying low in the morning, or the fog which hugs and hides. … imagine his white skin, sleepy puffy eyes on a foggy november morning, hiding his face in a scarf up till his nose, then looks around and his cold breath covers his face. his face is just so perfect for this scene, the atmosphere he creates as well.
i feel really bad that i couldnt really give this through the drawing. i admit, i let the drawing rest for today, and i checked it again now an hour ago, and i did have the thought running through my mind that i might just leave this as if it never existed and draw another one when i have the correct mood. but .. well i decided i most likely cant draw fog in any other way. and there is not many things in the world that i hate more than redoing something : ) .. but i really should keep myself from drawing these for a time being, until i have that mood again, when i manage to calm down once again.
the music .. the weird cut when i paint his hair. thats not my doing > < .. its originally in the audio i have. i didnt notice it before, its really annoying.
but there are two lines in the music that especially caught my attention. .. overall too, but thats why i thought about this drawing immediately. one in the beginning “what if ive dragged you here to my own dark night” .. and another one, which why im saying this one, because i had to cut that out, but that would have been so nice to this drawing as fog: “but i am not lost, i am not found”. which is like the perfect line of my feelings towards baekhyun.
• T o o l s •
• pencils (5H, 2H, B, 2B, 4B), pen (black, white), ink (black, purple)
• 7 hours
ps: i might accept the theory .. which i receive quite often lately : ) .. that my kyungsoo fanarts does feel different and something more~ though i cant really explain why. but now that i checked back because he was the last in neverland. i can see huge differences ^ ^’