nope, its not raining these days.
last week it was hot and sunny, and – after couple of years of trying to hold onto my white skin – i went sunbathing to get tanned. i was reading a book (David Sedaris: Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls), my legs in an ice-cold jacuzzi, so i didnt feel hot. after couple of hours my brother came by and was like “.. it doesnt hurt..? you are totally red.” and thats when i noticed and i realised it actually does hurt, and woah, i got so sunburnt it was difficult to lay down and sleep.
this week we have a cooler weather.
this week is also my third at Y&R. i have to stay here one month. and then im going to leave. not even a bullet shot from a gun will leave faster than i will. i try to survive this two weeks. and then i decided the remaining two months of my summer im going to spend on my portfolio. work on projects i didnt have time before, create something i can be proud of. i also have some non-fanart ideas to draw, i want to draw them.
and that takes me to my main headache lately which is to .. how .. or should i .. or i dont know.. i mean.. okay, so .. should i start a new youtube channel with my name gaborovna, and separate everything from the “kpope11ie” world and fanarts all over the web? i want to separate it and make something new and leave that for only kpop stuff. to clean up everything i have, and focus on the industrial design and fashion design stuff i got more interested in this past year, and make vids for those .. somehow.. and make a separated channel and convert “gaborovna” into that and should i brand it gaborovna or should i brand it something else and gaborovna could stay as just me as a directory or everything and .. yea.. i feel im a mess.
and not just this, like i totally lost myself, and the direction i should move forward.
yesterday i was already checking renting apartment in new zealand or canada! (and alaska. but i didnt think that through i think)
i know that i need a change, something is not right, so, just to make sure i change totally everything, everything i possibly can. .. like usually.
…. or should i just change the youtube channel.